Looking For My Tribe….

My Heart sit only with those
who know and understand you.
Be with those who help your being.

Oh the heart like a whale has no choice but to surface. Or we die. And having surfaced, we all must dive. Or we die.  And more than books or flowers or thoughtful gifts that show I know you, the dearest thing I can give is to surface with the sheen of my spirit before you.  And so I look for the truest friendships, watching the deep for spirits to surface all wet with soul.
~Mark Nepo

I was watching TV a few weeks back; Oprah’s Master Class. This particular episode had world-renowned surfer, Laird Hamilton on the show, and he said something that has really stayed with me.  He said, “You have to find your tribe”.  By that he meant, you have to search out the people you belong with.  It struck me so strongly because, for such a long time now, I have felt so out of synch with most of the people I know.  My circumstances have altered my life, altered me really, and as a result I’ve watched most of my friends sort of drift off, with me all the while blaming my peculiar situation for the distance. But that explanation always felt wrong somehow, too simple, too narrow, and now I know it’s because it’s more profound than that.  Thanks to Laird, I now understand that it’s because we no longer belong to one another.  No longer speak the same language. In his words, no longer belong to the same tribe.

Some life experiences just change you.  They do, even if you don’t want them to. My life experiences forced me to find a new way of being in my body and in the world.  For me, it was either adapt (transform) or die.  So I set out on a new path and although I never intended to wander off on my own or leave anyone behind, I see now that’s exactly what happened.

And since there is no going back, I must wander ahead and search out a new tribe; like-minded souls I might journey through time with.  To aid me, I’ve decided to borrow an ancient ritual from the nomadic peoples of old.  Something I first learned about in Mark Nepo’s book, Facing the Lion, Being the Lion. He writes, “For the Bedouins and gypsies the custom of reaching out and befriending one another began with three simple questions: Who are you? Where are you from?  Where are you in your journey?” And I think that’s about as good a way to start as any.


2 thoughts on “Looking For My Tribe….

    • I never gave any thought to how it simplified things, but you’re right it does. It does cut to the heart of our human interactions. I am simply trying to make a meaningful connection – but then I guess we are all.
      Thank you for taking the time to comment!

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