Prayer Before the Prayer


I want to be willing to forgive
But I dare not ask for the will to forgive
In case you give it to me
And I am not yet ready
I am not yet ready for my heart to soften
I am not yet ready to be vulnerable again
Not yet ready to see that there is humanity in my tormentor’s eyes
Or that the one who hurt me may also have cried
I am at the prayer before the prayer of forgiveness
I am not yet ready for the journey
I am not yet interested in the path
Grant me the will to want to forgive
Grant it to me not yet but soon
~Desmond Tuto and Mpho Tutu

Desmond Tutu